UGW: 165
I'm done being a fatty. It really sucks, and I am beyond any fatness I've ever experienced before. For the last sixty pounds, every ten pound interval I reach, I say to myself, "Ok, Ali this is it - time to get it together." I have yet to do so. I think one time I did a cardio Pilates routine I memorized when I was sixteen and anorexic while I watched TV telling myself this is the beginning of getting fit. Didn't do shit the next day or the day after. Once you reach that point, well shit, you're doomed. Now is the time, and I have marked this by two visits to the gym. And I finding that this exercising thing gives me more energy, and keeps me from being so hungry all the time. It's really nice.
You know what I really can't wait for, though? Looking down and being able to see my feet. A simple pleasure, yes, but one I miss desperately. I remember during the prime of my anorexia, I was washing in the shower in New Jersey where I was a nanny for the summer, and I looked down for the first time since young childhood to see two feet! My own feet, and what a pleasure that was! It marked such great progress.
Hahaha. My doody man just opened my bedroom door, and declared, "Lost four pounds - swag!" We're doing this together. I feel I need a motivational workout pal to help me get into the habit of going to the gym. I also feel like I'm lacking the knowledge of many different exercises, so I am learning from Jamaal. If it were up to me, I'd just run for 30 minutes, and leave. I am expanding my abilities and am certainly looking forward to being a better me.
And, in true weight blog tradition, some thinspo...
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